As progressives, it’s important that we always maintain the moral high ground. If conservative youtubers get to complain about demonetization and ask for donations, then The Guardian also gets to beg and play the victim, as they too are underfunded. And if conservatives get to have Wikileaks releasing damning information about the Democrats, then we too get to have our own whistle blower organization. So in comes Trumpileaks, Michael Moore’s latest initiative, providing a safe way for anyone to leak information that could be damaging to Trump and his administration. Unlike Wikileaks, which releases documents pertaining to both Republicans and Democrats, and a variety of officials from all sides of the political spectrum, Trumpileaks focuses exclusively on Trump and his administration, making it far more focused and effective.
Trumpileaks hasn’t released anything yet, so if anyone has anything negative to release, please do so. Progressives are known to be trustworthy and loyal, so your identity will be safe with Trumpileaks, and you are highly unlikely to face prosecution, especially with the backing of the accredited media. Leaking classified information about the Trump administration makes you a modern day revolutionary, fighting fascism and liberating the masses from borders, racism, sexism and Islamophobia. So be fearless, and do your part to free the proletariat from the clutches of white supremacy.
After taking down Trump, Michael Moore has suggested running a beloved celebrity such as Oprah Winfrey or Tom Hanks as the Democratic nominee to counter Trump’s celebrity status. But it won’t matter anyway, because the Republican nominee who takes Trump’s place will probably be a compassionate conservative who pretty much agrees with us on everything, and is just mean but harmless, like most Republicans.
Progressives anxiously await Michael Moore’s first bombshell leak, which could be the nail in Trump’s coffin, as his impeachment looms and teams of high profile officials and community organizers plot to take him down, along with his fascist administration.